Silly Stuff - Some Really Dumb Quotes:

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Reframe: When Philip Morris chairman Joseph Cullman was confronted with statistics showing that pregnant women who smoke have lower birthweight babies, he replied, "Some women would prefer having smaller babies."

Time, July 30, page 66


"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy."

Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.


The eminent Italian-American poet laureate, Lawrence Peter Berra, said,

"It ain't over 'til its over." and "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

Then he once added: "I really didn't say everything I said."


"The ballparks have gotten too crowded. That's why nobody goes to see the game anymore."

Yogi Berra


Picking up on this theme, Dale Berra, son of Yogi (and also a baseball manager) said,

"The similarities between me and my father are different."


"Half this game is 90 percent mental."

Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies baseball team Manager


"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle"

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach


"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker


"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."

Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements


"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class"

George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach


"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King


"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece


"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh


"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."

Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks basketball team


"If I did that, I'd be sticking my head in a moose."

Samuel Goldwyn


"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice tht you passed away. May God bless you. You may re-apply if there is a change in your circumstances."

Form letter sent to a person by my South Carolina Department of Social Services


"They're multi-purpose. Not only do they put the clips on but they also take them off."

Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the air force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.


"The streets are safe in the city of Philadelphia; it's only the people that make them unsafe."

Former Philadelphia PA Mayor and Police Chief Frank Rizzo


"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese"

former French President Charles de Gaulle


"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."

former u.s. vice- president Dan Quayle on the San Francisco earthquake

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."

Samuel Goldwyn

Caution included with hair dryer instructions - "Warning: never use while sleeping."


"We all get heavier as we get older because there is a lot more information in our heads."

Vlade Divak, Los Angeles Laker professional basketball player

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction".

Pierre Pachet, a Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872


"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon".

Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873.


"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."

Western Union internal memo, 1876


"Everything that can be invented has been invented."

Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.


"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."

Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.


"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."

Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.


"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"

David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.


"Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools."

1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work.


"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"

H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.


"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."

John Wayne


"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper."

Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."


"Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion."



"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."

Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.


"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."

Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943


"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."

Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949


"Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

Anti- smoking spokesperson Brooke Shields


"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

former u.s. vice- president Dan Quayle


"The president has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."

Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live


"The police are not here to create disorder, they're here to preserve disorder"

former Chicago Mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 convention


"If you've seen one redwood tree, you've seen them all"

Forestry Expert Ronald Reagan (and former US President)


"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."

The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957


"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."

Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.


"But what ... is it good for?"

Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.


"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."

Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977


"Who in their right mind would ever need more than 640k of ram!?"

Bill Gates, 1981


"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'"

Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.


"He was a man of great statue"

Boston Mayor Thomas Menino on Former Mayor John Collins


"It's like an Alcatraz around my neck"

Boston Mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces


"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so i could converse with those people"

former u.s. vice- president Dan Quayle

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible."

A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)


"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make."

Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.


"You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles? It can't be done. It's just a fact of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training."

Response to Arthur Jones, who solved the "unsolvable" problem by inventing Nautilus.


"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this."

Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.


"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

former u.s. vice-president Dan Quayle


"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."

General William Westmoreland


"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

former u.s. vice- president Dan Quayle at a fundraising event for the United Negro College Fund. He was attempting to quote the line "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."


"It's a question of whether we're going to go forward into the future, or past to the back."

then Vice President Dan Quayle, who else.

Medicare refunds couple a single cent

John and Linda Holcombe of Greenville SC were issued a check from Medicare because she accidently overpaid a doctor $5.41 on a bill of $5.40. "It's more complicated than it looks on the surface because it's dealing with federal regulations and computer programming," said Donna Thorne of Blue Cross and Blue Shield of SC, "It does have the apprearance of being wasteful, but there's more to it than meets the eye."

You bet. Doctors offices estimate the cost of processing a Medicate transaction at $203, then there's the postage, salaries of the prople involved with recording and documentation and the other costs of the transaction. "I told my husand I felt like I should call an armored car to escort him to the bank," said Mrs. Holcombe.

Greenville News, Page 1, by Sheila Carnett, 3/18/96

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